Talking To Kids About Disabilities

Chances are, at some point, your child will meet someone at school or in a community who has a disability. It is normal for children to have questions about people who are different, which means parents should be prepared to answer their questions. 

Everyone Is Different ~ But The Same

All of us have unique gifts, personalities and challenges. No two people are teh same and this is a great thing because diversity makes life interesting and fun. While we are all different, everyone has things in common, too. All people, including people with disabilities, want to have friends, be shown respect and be accepted. Encourage your child to embrace the differences of others and find common ground, as well. If your child is interested in a popular television show, book, toy or game, chances are a person with special needs is, too. Ask them what they love to do. I would guess they will be happy to tell you. 

Types of Disabilities

Some disabilities are obvious and some are not. Some people may need a walker or wheelchair to help them move around. Others may have a cognitive (thinking) disability that is not visible. Explain in simple terms that people struggle with different things and may need a little extra help from a physical tool (like a wheelchair) or help from others. People can have impairments with sight, hearing, walking, speech, cognitive or a variety of other things. It is important to note that just because someone is in a wheelchair, it doesn't mean they have a cognitive disability. Also, disabilities are not contagious and children are not going to "catch" the disability. These things may sound obvious to adults, but children process things differently and may have these questions. 

Name Calling Is Never Okay

Emphasize that people with disabilities have feelings, too. Name calling is hurtful and disrespectful, and is a form of bullying. People with disabilities need others to stand up for them when they cannot stand up for themselves. Encourage your child to tell an adult if kids are teasing another child. Your child can be an example to others by being kind and respectful. Parents can set an example using positive language and behavior towards others as well. 

A Note About " Rude " Comments

Kids are curious and love to ask questions. Many times they will speak exactly what is on their mind, without thinking about whether the comments will be hurtful. This can be very embarrassing to parents. So what do you do if your child blurts out a rude and embarrassing comment? Start by answering calmly and matter of factly, If, for example, your child says "Why is that boy in a wheelchair?" Simply answer, "He needs it to move around. Why don't you say hello? If the child is reluctant, say hello to him yourself along with something like "John likes trains. Do you like trains,too?" If the person accompanying the child responds, follow their lead. It is always better to treat others as you would like to be treated than to hurry away in an embarrassing situation. Later, when your home, you can ask your child if they have other questions about people with disabilities and reinforce the value of treating others equally.

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